ALL THAT GLITTERS: INTERVIEW WITH MARGO TALBOT
By Meghan J. Ward
Margo Talbot's All That Glitters tells the story of her journey through addiction and depression and the healing she found in nature. In this interview, she tells us what that journey signifies for the greater mountain community and how we might empower ourselves in the context of COVID-19.
Photo by Paul Zizka
Book Review
Title: All That Glitters
Author: Margo Talbot
Publisher: Rocky Mountain Books
Margo Talbot grew up with a distant mother who “ruled the household with her eyes”; a father who opted to spend much of his time away from home; and four siblings struggling to deal with their particular domestic situation. As a result of her family’s dysfunction and her own growing mental illness, young Margo rarely smiled, had difficulty connecting with others, and was plagued with a black wave of anger and sadness that overshadowed much of the world around her. In time, drugs, alcohol, sex, and violence became her primary ways to connect with herself and others.
From the depths of suicidal depression and a conversation with Death, Talbot eventually found solace and redemption in both the healing power of nature and the glory of climbing frozen landscapes in some of the world’s most pristine and challenging environments. Heartbreaking, honest, energizing, and inspiring All That Glitters is a remarkable memoir that shines a fresh light of hope on mental illness.
Meghan Ward/ You set out to write a different kind of book originally. Can you tell me about that journey? And why you wanted to write this book?
Margo Talbot/ When I got accepted into the Banff Mountain Writing program, I had 80,000 words for a book about Karen McNeill, a friend who had disappeared in Alaska. When I got to the program, my editor Tony Whittome said, “this book is about you.” I didn’t know what he was talking about. He said, “You are bleeding through into every story. I want to know what's going on for you.” And I thought that was very perceptive. Because I didn't talk about any of my stuff in the original manuscript.
I knew my editors were right. I knew I had a story. But I didn't want to write it because I had cleverly hidden my past. I was this strong, athletic ice climber sponsored by a company. And the last thing I wanted was my peers down here in the valley, who knew nothing, to find out about my past.
So, why did I write the book? It’s the book I would have wanted to find when I was suicidally depressed for a decade.
MW/ Was the writing therapeutic for you or was that at the tail end of that whole process for you?
MT/ I thought it was the tail end of a process. And when I sat down to write, I had to relive experiences that I hadn't fully lived through in therapy. Because I'd gone to 22 years of therapy at that point, I found myself reliving things as my 47-year-old self. It was incredibly hard. I’d write about six hours a day and come out of the room and my partner, Warren, would say, “Whoa. We need to go skiing or do something to bring you back to the present moment.”
MW/ That's such an important part of a memoir process, to go back and inhabit yourself in the past, and be attentive to your life as if you are there in order to draw out those details. But it can be taxing. Tell me more about those experiences in nature.
MT/ Even back when I had my breakdowns, I would go in the woods of Jasper and have my very first breakdowns and be with the trees — yelling at the trees, sometimes hitting the trees. So, yes, Warren knew where I needed to go. Nature is genuine. Nature is real. Nature just is. And so when I'm writing about things that I'll just categorize as human disingenuousness —things I went through with exes and my parents — I have always reconnected and rebalanced myself in nature.
MW/ You once described the book as ahead of its time before, for instance, Rocky Mountain books, made the choice to republish it. Can you talk about that?
MT/ When my book first came out, it was primarily climbers who were reading the book. And I don't believe climbers were ready for the conversation about addiction and mental illness and climbing. The climbing community didn't really understand what the book was about. I'm not going to say they didn't like it or want it. I don’t think they understood that this story of some wild-haired woman that moved down from Jasper is also the story of the climbing community and society at large. Because in the end, we will all be touched by trauma.
My publisher also felt that the book was ahead of its time — we thought, “Maybe people just aren't interested in trauma.” Well, now fast-forward nine years and everybody’s talking about trauma and mental health. And in my opinion, COVID-19 is varying degrees of trauma for the entire planet right now.
Find a copy of the book at your independent bookstore or on rmbooks.com.
Meghan J. Ward is a writer, editor, digital content specialist and all-around storyteller based in Banff, Canada. Meghan loves any sport that takes her up a mountain or into the backcountry, and also enjoys travel and photography.